“ni minsan, hindi kami lumabas bilang isang pamilya…”
“wala akong kain, tagal kong pumila kasi nasa waiting list ang anak ko…”

Language is a medium of negotiation. Among couples who come from different linguistic and cultural backgrounds, differences in negotiating strategies are probably the least explored. Within the domain of language and gender, some patterns have already been established, discourse strategies mapped, and patterns of talk investigated. This paper on Filipino spouses’ negotiating choices explores the complexity of mixed marriage in terms of decision-making concerning their children’s education. It argues that Filipino spouses have the potential for reframing their identities as wives and mothers to reach their communicative goals. However, in the context of their children's education, they accommodate their Japanese spouses' decision. Obviously, one presumes that the primary reason is the Filipino spouse's subordinate status over her Japanese husband, who is the head of the family. However, it can also be argued that the dominance-subordination paradigm in negotiation between husband and wife is also influenced by the Filipino spouse's educational attainment, employment history, and nature of relationship prior to marriage.